Surrogacy and Social Media: Setting Boundaries on What To Share

Social media makes it easy to share life’s most meaningful moments—but when it comes to surrogacy, knowing what to post and what to keep private can be a little challenging. It’s understandable that both intended parents and gestational surrogates would want to document some aspects of the journey. After all, becoming parents and helping others become parents is exciting, life-changing news. It’s essential, however, to properly navigate social media boundaries and respect each other’s confidentiality throughout the journey. 

While there are no one-size-fits-all rules for sharing about your surrogacy journey on social media, your agency will help you navigate privacy concerns by sharing some best practices and legal counsel so everyone’s experience is honored while celebrating this special path to parenthood.

Setting Parameters

The best way to make sure everyone is on the same page is to thoroughly discuss the parameters, goals, and boundaries. Many of these preferences—such as communication style, privacy expectations, and comfort with disclosure—are also built into Circle’s proprietary MatchMade™ process, which helps ensure strong matches from the start.

Here are some questions to inspire additional conversation between intended parents and surrogates before beginning their journey together.

• What types of information and updates are we all comfortable sharing on social media?

• What privacy settings are we using? Are our posts meant just for close friends and family, or are they public?

• Are we tagging or naming each other in posts?

• Are we OK with one of us (either intended parents or surrogate) sharing more about our story on their own social media, even if others prefer not to post?

• Are we sharing photos of each other?

• What kind of photos or details are we comfortable sharing about the birth and the baby, and when? 

• When will we announce the pregnancy or the birth?

  
  

These are certainly not the only things to keep in mind when it comes to surrogacy and social media, but we think they are a good starting point for getting comfortable with one another. For more tips on developing a positive connection from the start, explore our blog post on how to build a strong intended parent-surrogate relationship.

Legal Arrangements

It’s important that surrogates and intended parents agree on a shared social media philosophy because the openness of many social platforms can expose sensitive information and/or jeopardize the privacy of all parties involved if not correctly handled. 

Include Boundaries in the Agreement

It’s a good idea to have clear boundaries around privacy and sharing personal details on social media as part of your surrogacy agreement. These kinds of limits will be put into place later on in the surrogacy journey once things begin, so until then, it's important to keep each other’s identities and personal information private.

Agency Permissions

Sometimes, gestational carriers give their agency permission to share their photos or names on social media. If that’s the case, just make sure the agency knows about any agreements between parties going forward, so privacy can be maintained.

Watch for Accidental Sharing

Everyone should also keep an eye on each other’s social media to make sure nothing is accidentally shared—like a name on a hospital wristband or an ultrasound photo with identifying info. It’s easy to overlook small things, so a second pair of eyes can really help.

Have Honest Conversations

When it comes to sharing your story—whether online or with the media—it’s super important to have honest conversations ahead of time. Not everyone will feel the same about what should be shared and when, so it’s all about finding a balance and respecting each other’s comfort levels.

Be Prepared for Feedback

As is the case anytime someone gets pregnant and/or becomes a parent, people love to offer unsolicited advice—they also love to share unsolicited criticism. This goes for surrogacy and social media as well. No matter what you share online, be prepared for both positive and negative feedback. 

Just remember: This is your journey, this is your joy. Protect your own peace, always!

Ready To Take the Next Step?

Whether you’re hoping to grow your family through surrogacy or are considering becoming a surrogate yourself, Circle is here to guide you. Our team will answer your questions, walk you through the process, and help you feel confident moving forward. Start your journey today by completing our intended parent form or surrogate application!