Should I Buy My Surrogate a Gift?
Your surrogate is giving you and your family the most wonderful gift of all: a baby.
Our intended parents often ask their journey coordination team if they should get their surrogate a gift, and what type of gift they should get for her.
While gifts for surrogate mothers are by no means mandatory, many parents find they enjoy doing so because it’s another way to say ‘thank you’ for all she’s doing. There are a few different milestones during your journey that offer the opportunity to give a gift: the first time you meet in person, the 20-week ultrasound or at the birth of the baby. All are wonderful times to show your gratitude and present the opportunity to present a gift to your surrogate mother.
If getting a gift for your surrogate during the journey or after the birth of your baby is something you’d like to do, here are some ideas from other parents through surrogacy to help you.
Something small, yet personal.
Many parents develop a deep relationship with their surrogate and would like to give her something meaningful and representative of who she is. A personal gift does not have to be a big gift. Perfect personal gifts can include:
Lotions or soaps in her favorite scent
Gift certificate for a manicure so she can pamper herself a little
A handwritten note of gratitude
One set of parents shared, “We made a gift basket filled with things she and her family loved, based on conversations we’d had before our first visit. This small, thoughtful idea went a long way in helping us connect with her and her family.”
Gifts for her children.
“I got small gifts for her children to say thank you for sharing Mommy,” one parent says.
This could be something as simple as a board game or a stuffed animal. But giving your surrogate’s children a gift is a wonderful way to show your surrogate how appreciative you are. Involving your surrogate’s children in the journey is important – and will go a long way to help them understand that you are the baby’s parents.
Gifts for her post-birth needs.
Each childbirth is different. Ask your surrogate what she and her family need in order to get through this time and have a quick recovery. Having groceries delivered to the house or a gift certificate for a local restaurant that delivers could be a great help.
“Our surrogate had young children at home, so we gave her a restaurant gift card that she could use to get takeout so she could recuperate after the delivery, knowing her family has a great meal,” said one parent.
A reminder of the journey.
You are going through an amazing experience with your surrogate; one way to show gratitude is to commemorate the journey in some way.
One set of parents presented their surrogate with a necklace with beads that represented the girls she carried for them. Another framed a photo of the baby and had the frame engraved with the baby’s name and birth date.
Gifts reminiscent of your family and home town.
In many surrogacy journeys, intended parents and surrogates live in different states (if both live in the U.S.) or in different countries – some thousands of miles away. Surrogates have told us that they love receiving gifts that represent their IPs hometown, and where their surrobaby is going to live.
“We brought our surrogate tasty treats that you could only find in our country,” one couple shares. “She said being able to experience something from our culture gave her a better understanding of where the baby was going to grow up.”
No matter what gift you decide to give your surrogate, it will be meaningful and from the heart. Surrogacy journeys bring people to a level of closeness not experienced by many, she’ll be touched by any gesture.