Becoming a Surrogate: 6 Questions To Ask Before Starting the Process
We hear a lot of questions from women who are considering becoming a surrogate. You can check out a list of our most asked questions on our FAQs page. But now we’re asking you to turn the tables and ask yourself a few questions before beginning a surrogacy journey. We think these questions will help you determine if you’re ready to start the adventure of surrogacy!
Do you have a thorough understanding of the surrogacy process? Becoming a surrogate mother is a big commitment, but it can be one of the most rewarding experiences of your lifetime. We’ve found that many successful surrogate applicants have read a lot about surrogacy before beginning the application process. This blog post offers tips on how to prepare for being a surrogate.
What kind of experience are you looking for in your surrogacy journey? There are many different surrogacy agencies and matching agencies, so making sure you have found one that can provide you with the type of surrogacy experience you are looking for is an important first step in the process. Circle is a relationship-based agency – which means we encourage (and in fact, require) open and honest communication between everyone involved. Surrogates and intended parents who are a good fit for our program are typically those who are hoping to get to know each other and build a relationship during and after the journey is over!
Have you discussed surrogacy with your support network? If you have a spouse or partner, he or she will need to be committed to a successful surrogacy journey, just like you. If you’re single, you will need to designate a friend or family member who can support you during the experience. We’ll have a phone call with your support person during the screening process to make sure he or she is fully educated about what the process involves. So as you’re exploring the option of becoming a surrogate mother, it’s a good idea to start talking to your loved ones about your plans. If you're apprehensive about talking to your kids about surrogacy, here are tips on talking to your family about surrogacy.
Do you meet the initial requirements to become a surrogate mother? The initial surrogacy application helps us determine if you are a good fit for our program – but before you apply, it’s a good idea to check the surrogate mother requirements. These requirements are guided by IVF clinics, and include criteria such as pregnancy history, age, BMI and more. Another way to see if you meet the requirements is to fill out our surrogate application.
What are you looking for in your intended parent(s)?
Are you open to working with any type of family? Would you prefer to help a same-sex couple or a heterosexual couple who have gone through infertility? How do you feel about working with intended parents from outside the United States? Asking yourself these questions will help you fill out matching questionnaires, which allows us to match you with intended parents who are a good fit for you!
Are you ready? One of our former Circle Surrogates shares her top tips to help you get ready for this life-changing experience:
Prepare yourself emotionally. You are about to embark on the biggest journey of your life; chances are, you’ll never experience anything this “big” again. Emotions will run high, but if you are ready for the rollercoaster, you’ll do just fine. Open yourself up emotionally, and don’t be scared of putting yourself “all in”.
Be as organized as possible. Use your phone calendar. Buy a paper calendar. Color code it. Whatever you have to do to keep track of appointments and things you need to do.
Keep all emails and paperwork handy! Keep and organize the paperwork and emails. I am a document hoarder. I save every document I receive. When I complete a document, I rename it with my last name and the date, and then save it again. I created a folder in my email inbox that contains all my surrogacy emails and keep a folder with all documents that I’ve had to fax. It is a great idea to stay as organized as possible since you may be asked for the same information more than once.
Read your contract. Every word. It’s good to know going in that the contract phase is daunting. This is where I experienced the most stress. While all contracts have same basic structure, every surrogate should advocate for herself. Read every single word of that contract; every single word of the 37-page document. It is also important to know that the contract is based on the commitment letter you sign. If you need to change any information, do it before you sign the commitment letter.
Be honest with everyone, including yourself. You are your own advocate. If something doesn’t feel right, say something! Relationships – especially with your intended parents – are built on trust. They will be thankful you spoke up and shared your thoughts!
If you think you’re ready to embark on your surrogacy experience, you can fill out our surrogate application and be on your way to becoming a surrogate!