Myths and misinformation abound when it comes to gestational surrogacy. If you are not familiar with surrogacy and what a gestational carrier does, these myths can make the process confusing.
Most myths are rooted in a misunderstanding of what surrogacy is. In this post, we answer this most basic question: What is surrogacy? Then we'll bust some of the most common surrogacy myths to clear up any misconceptions about having a baby through surrogacy.
What Is Gestational Surrogacy?
With gestational surrogacy—often shortened to surrogacy—an embryo is created in a laboratory and transferred into the uterus of a gestational carrier. The gestational carrier does not share a genetic relationship with the baby she carries.
That’s the scientific explanation. Emotionally, gestational surrogacy is an amazing and monumental experience between intended parents hoping for a family and a kind and generous woman who is willing to be a gestational carrier for their baby. Gestational surrogacy is a common and rewarding way to grow a family.
7 Myths About Gestational Surrogacy
Myth 1: The gestational is related to the baby.
This is not true! In gestational surrogacy, the gestational carrier does NOT use her own egg to create the embryo, nor does she share any DNA with the baby. Instead, the intended parents’ biology (or that of a separate donor who is not the carrier) is used to create the embryo at their IVF clinic. The embryo is then transferred into the surrogate’s uterus.
Myth 2: The gestational surrogate will grow attached and want to keep the baby.
This is a common misconception. Gestational carriers are screened in the early stages of the application process. They speak with licensed social workers and undergo a psychological exam. During this process, professionals determine if a woman is the right fit for surrogacy, and that includes understanding her perspective about the baby she would be carrying.
A woman who is a gestational carrier fully understands that she has no biological connection to the child she is carrying, that it’s not her baby. In fact, one reason women become surrogates is to witness those first few moments of parenthood when they give the baby back to the intended parents.
Myth 3: Surrogates must do whatever their intended parents tell them to, even if they don’t want to.
When a gestational surrogate is matched with the intended parents, they each have independent legal representation to draw up the Carrier Agreement Contract. If intended parents have requests for the surrogate, those requests are discussed and agreed upon together during this time. If an intended parent asks for something the surrogate is not comfortable with, it is discussed at this time. When a surrogacy agreement is reached, it is added to the contract and then signed by both parties.
Myth 4: My surrogate will have to come live with me.
Um, no. This misconception likely came about from Hollywood. The movie Baby Mama, while incredibly entertaining, could not misrepresent the act of surrogacy more. Intended parents would never be expected to have their gestational carrier live with them. To be accepted into the program, a surrogate must have a strong foundation of support and be financially and emotionally stable—and that includes having her own place to live.
Myth 5: Women only become surrogates to make money.
Women become surrogates for many reasons: Some have a close friend or family member who went through infertility; other women enjoy being pregnant but have finished growing their own families. Still others are looking for a way to give back to someone else. Surrogate mother costs support a surrogate’s physical, emotional, and medical dedication to the journey.
Myth 6: Surrogacy is only for celebrities.
While you may hear about celebrities and surrogacy through media outlets, it is by no means a family-building option only for the rich and famous. Everyday intended parents from all over the United States and across the globe embark on surrogacy journeys. Surrogacy costs are a financial investment, but there are surrogacy programs designed to provide financial certainty and financing options for intended parents.
Myth 7: It will be hard for me to bond with the baby if we use a surrogate.
Bonding with your baby is a natural step on your parenthood journey, and it’s a little different for everyone. Many intended parents are present at the birth of their baby and are able to have skin-to-skin contact with their baby almost immediately. This quiet time, when your newborn rests against your bare chest, is one of the most intimate moments between parent and child.
Some parents bond immediately with their baby, while others take a little more time. As the primary caregiver for your baby, that little one will immediately recognize you as their source of love and comfort.
Gestational surrogacy is the only type of surrogacy that Circle Surrogacy & Egg Donation practices. Our surrogate qualifications, as well as our intended parent requirements, ensure it is the most rewarding journey for all parties involved.
If you want to learn more about becoming a parent through surrogacy, we suggest you connect with our experienced Parent Intake Team. They can answer your questions and discuss the process in detail. Simply fill out this form, and they will reach out to you!