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How gay men find a surrogate mother.

Finding the woman who will act as your surrogate mother and carry your baby(ies) is one of the most exciting milestones during your surrogacy journey to parenthood. Trust your surrogacy agency to help you find the best surrogate match.

 The first steps to finding a surrogate mother.

The first steps to finding a surrogate mother.

Many of Circle's surrogate mothers are excited at the prospect of helping building LGBTQ+ families through surrogacy. They understand firsthand the joys of parenthood and want to share that experience with others.

Both gestational carriers and intended parents fill out a questionnaire that asks them about the type of person they wish to be matched with, as well as what their expectations are from the surrogacy journey, and the level of communication with which they are comfortable. It's important to be honest when answering these questions, as our Matching Team uses these answers – as well as your geographic location and views on termination – in order to find you the best match.

 Surrogate matching preferences for gay dads.

Surrogate matching preferences for gay dads.

When you're working with a surrogacy agency such as Circle, there are certain criteria on which you will be matched with your gestational carrier.

Intended Parent matching criteria includes their preferences on:

• Level of communication with their surrogate during the journey
• Location of the surrogate mother
• Number of embryos to transfer
• Views on selective reduction and termination

If you are doing an independent surrogacy journey, you can use the above as guidelines as to what you should be looking for in a suitable match.

 Building a strong relationship with your surrogate.

Building a strong relationship with your surrogate.

Circle Surrogacy believes that strong relationships between surrogate mothers and intended parents lead to smoother, more successful journeys. Regular communication also helps intended parents feel comfortable with their surrogate, and feel part of the pregnancy and process.

As a gay intended parent, building a relationship with your surrogate also helps you tell your child their origin story, and gives him/her the opportunity to know the woman who helped create your family. Because developing a relationship with your surrogate is so important, Circle strongly suggests a weekly video call (at minimum) between parents and surrogates via Skype or other video chat forum.

While the first Skype meeting can be a little stressful, surrogate mothers and intended parents create their own cadence for communication; some speak to each other weekly, some send text updates, while others chat daily and send photos frequently.

3 criteria for matching surrogates and LGBTQ+ parents

1. Appropriate legal fit

In the United States, each state has its own laws regarding surrogacy. In addition, each country we assist has different requirements and laws regarding surrogacy. Therefore, our legal team ensures that the laws of the surrogate’s home state (where the delivery will take place) complement the laws of intended parents' home state/country (including laws around same sex parenting). The legal department will always approve a match from a legal standpoint before a surrogate profile is presented to intended parents. We will never knowingly present matches that are not a safe legal fit.

 Small Purple Heart surrogacy laws

2. Personality fit and surrogacy expectations.

Once the legal team presents its list of safe matches, the matching team reviews the list to ensure good personality fits, since we want this to be a comfortable relationship throughout the entirety of the journey. Both surrogates and intended parents undergo phone calls or in-person meetings with the Circle team early in the process; these meetings helps determine your personality as it relates to surrogacy. We also look at IPs' and surrogates' expectations and hopes for the journey including number of embryos to transfer and communication styles.

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3. Expectations Surrounding Termination and Selective Reduction.

We ask IPs and surrogates their views on termination of a pregnancy as we want to create a match of IPs and surrogates who share similar views. We want to ensure that the views of the surrogate and the views of the intended parents align in the event a situation arises where a reduction or termination is considered. In our experience, many intended parents prefer the option to make the choice of termination.

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