Welcome Baby Ines!
The verbs we use to talk about surrogacy can vary. My favorite would have to be when we talk about building families. The reason I like to use “build” and any iteration of it is because of the meaning you can evoke from it. Hearing it, I start to think about what it means to build a family. Build, building, built… They all help us understand that it’s a process not just one snapshot of a birth announcement. The birth announcement is merely one piece of the puzzle on a lifelong adventure living for something greater than oneself. Some of us have that in careers and other passions but it’s not the same as family.
Family means a lot of things. That we love each other unconditionally even if that love may at times lead us to have many wonderful times together and it also means we may be furious with each other. But, it’s an oath that says something like, “Even though you may make me furious, I will sit here and help you through, no matter what.” It’s a promise to protect and respect. It’s a promise to explain why. “We don’t run in the street because we could get hurt.”
Over the holiday weekend, I spent time with close friends, who are now a lot like family. While there, I heard a new song. When my friend’s toddler had to pick up her toys, her grandmother would sing to her, “Clean up, clean up, everybody does their share.” It’s no surprise that she is an elementary art teacher, so she has a way of explaining to children why each action is important. Seeing a toddler clean up while singing about cleaning up is something I hadn’t seen before.
It was a gentle–or maybe kind of obvious now that I’m thinking about it–reminder of how much goes into raising a child. How much love. How much patience. How much thoughtfulness. How much care. It made me think of our intended parents and our surrogates–the joining of selflessness from women who know what it means to be a parent and want to build a family with individuals and couples who want nothing more than to build their own families.
The experience made me so grateful to come into work this morning after a wonderful holiday and see more families being built.