The Surrogacy Process: Matching with Intended Parents

Getting matched with your Intended Parents is an exciting time during the process! Many steps are taken to ensure that you will have the best match for the smoothest journey possible.

At Circle, surrogates have the chance to express preferences about the intended parents with whom they are matched. You can share with us the type of Intended Parents you’re looking for, level of contact and sharing, and overall expectations of what you hope to get out of the journey. There are three main requirements that we use to connect a surrogate and intended parent(s): legal fit, personality fit, and views on selective reduction and abortion. Legal fit is the best place to start since surrogacy laws vary from country to country and state to state. Our legal team works alongside lawyers from the surrogate’s and IPs’ home region in order to be sure that the legality matches.

While we are learning more about our surrogates and what their preferences are, we are doing the same thing with our Intended Parents. Once IPs agree to work with Circle to build their family, they are added to our queue. This list is used during matching; however, our social work team, when finding matches, balances the wait list with the quality of fit in order to achieve a timely yet comfortable match.

We start with the legal matters, and once they are sorted, the social work team strives to find the best personality fit while also honoring the wait list. Using our knowledge of the IPs and surrogates, we try to generate matches so that both share expectations, hopes, and dreams for their upcoming journey. Our matching manager, who is also a licensed attorney, will send the profiles of the proposed match to both parties. If the IPs and surrogates express mutual interest, we continue the matching process.

The third requirement is based on the IPs’ and surrogates’ respective views on selective reduction and abortion. Since it is ultimately the surrogate’s decision, in the case that either selective reduction or abortion may be a consideration, it is important that the two parties are on the same page on these matters.

Once our Matching Manager has found a good match, she will “swap” profiles of the surrogate and intended parents, giving each time to read through and learn about each other. If both parties think they might be a good match, the two parties schedule a Skype call to “meet” and talk about the journey, each other’s wishes and desires, and to learn more about it each other. It’s sort of like going on an e-date! Almost everyone – surrogates and intended parents – have told us how nervous they are before this Skype call. A surrogacy journey is a big deal, with lots of emotional involved. We get questions from, “What should we talk about?” and “What if the conversation lags?” and “How do I start talking?”. These questions – and every feeling you have before getting on that call – is perfectly NORMAL. We have found it helps break the ice to acknowledge right up front that you are nervous and excited – your intended parents are likely feeling the same way! Once you get that out of the way, we’ve found the conversation starts naturally.

Once the Skype call is over, if both the surrogate and the IPs are interested in moving forward, they are officially matched and ready to proceed to the next stage of the process!

After you and your intended parents indicate the desire to move forward, we begin the Medical Screening and Legal Contracting phase.

Here’s a short video of Circle family member and surrogate Heather, remembering the excitement of meeting her intended parents for the first time.

 

 

We have successfully made several hundreds of matches, leading to happy families and the births of over 1,600 babies. Please visit our site for more information on the surrogacy journey.