Pregnancy. You’re no stranger to the growing bump, the late-night kicking sessions, or the bizarre food cravings. Yet many women who become surrogates do so because they love all aspects of being pregnant. And becoming pregnant to help another family grow? There’s nothing quite so rewarding.
It goes without saying that becoming pregnant while still raising young children is not an easy feat. You may find yourself looking for ways to balance your time and attention between your surrogate pregnancy and your family.
Here are 4 tips from experienced surrogates on how to balance your surrogate pregnancy and your family.
- Treat your pregnancy like a, well, pregnancy. While many of the terms of your pregnancy are different as a surrogate, your physical pregnancy experience is not. This means you should take it slow, just as you did with your previous pregnancies. Just because you are not the biological mother of the child you are bringing to life, it does not mean you should expect the pregnancy to feel dramatically different in terms of physical symptoms. Granted, many parts of your surrogacy pregnancy will be different from your previous ones. Previous surrogate, Jeni Denhoff, writes about what she found different between pregnancies. Take care of yourself, know when you’ve reached your limit, and take a step back, asking for help when you need it.
2. Talk to your children about your pregnancy. Kids are very compassionate little individuals and can easily understand the concept of helping someone. The amount of detail you share should be relevant to their age, and what you know they will understand. You know your children best, how they learn and process new information. Experienced surrogate and Circle Surrogate Coordinator, Heather, shares how she incorporated her children into her surrogate pregnancies.
3. Find your support squad. And use them! Whether you need an hour to yourself, or you need someone to watch your little ones while you go to a doctor’s appointment, establishing a support system is essential. That’s why it’s important to share your journey with your friends and family – so they can help you when you need it. Another benefit of becoming a surrogate with a surrogacy agency is the support you receive. From your assigned program coordination team to the social worker managing your case, you are in good hands at Circle. Use your resources and reach out when you have questions or are looking for guidance.
4. Carve out time with your kiddos. Children can get jealous and vie for mom’s attention when there’s a new baby in the room (or in this case, womb). Be sure to set aside time to spend with each of your children to reinforce just how important they are to you. Dedicate a night to each of your children. Plan activities he or she loves, and spend some quality time reminding your own children that they are your world.
You are the definition of a champion. You are providing a family with a child they might not otherwise be able to have. Nine months of dedication means you deserve to be pampered! Don’t feel guilty asking for some time to yourself while you are pregnant. Relish in your surrogacy experience, but know that your children will be there throughout it all, holding your hand along the way and later beaming with pride knowing what you did for another family.
To learn more about becoming a surrogate at circle, check out our website!