This post, written by Circle Director of Marketing Kristin Marsoli, was originally published on Parents via Egg Donation
Infertility can be a long road. You’re investing a tremendous amount of time, money and emotion into doing everything you can to fulfill your dreams of parenthood. But, unfortunately, it doesn’t always work out the way you had hoped.
The decision to use an egg donor can be a very difficult one for women. Chances are, you’ll be feeling a rollercoaster of emotions. When you start moving forward with an egg donor, you’ll have three forms of egg donation from which to choose: Known, Semi-Known and Anonymous.
Known Egg Donation is the most open form of egg donation. In this arrangement, intended parents and egg donors have contact and mutually determine what type of contact/relationship works best for all parties during the cycle and in the future. Communication may be through Skype, a phone call, email, or an in-person meeting and identifying information is disclosed between the parties. Known donation is designed to give intended parents direct access to their egg donor should they (or their children) have questions for her in the future.
Semi-Known Egg Donation allows intended parents and egg donors to mutually agree to some limited contact to determine what type of relationship works best for all parties. And while the communication may be through Skype, a phone call, email, or an in-person meeting – there is no exchange of identifying information. This type of egg donation allows intended parents to connect with their egg donor and hear her story; this contact should solidify that this is the right match.
Anonymous Egg Donation is just that: anonymous. You receive background information about your egg donor, but you don’t receive information about the identity of your egg donor. Both the egg donor and the intended parents agree to respect each other’s privacy during the cycle and in the future.
So how do you choose the form of egg donation that’s best for you? Do your research, and ask yourself and your partner what you’re most comfortable with. If you’re open to it, Known and Semi-Known Egg Donation are great options that allow you to establish a relationship with your egg donor, and to get to know the woman who is helping you build your family.
Getting to know your egg donor can help alleviate some uneasy feelings you may be experiencing. And because there are no “right” or “wrong” emotions during your journey, you can take comfort in learning more about your egg donor to help yourself feel more at peace with your decision to match with her.
Women have confessed to feeling a little threatened by their egg donor because she is able to provide something they can’t. Or, they feel as though they are admitting defeat in choosing to use an egg donor. Also, they’ve shared feelings of distrust towards an egg donor, because they don’t know or understand the reason behind her wanting to donate her eggs.
Choosing Known or Semi-Known Egg Donation can help calm emotions, alleviate anxiety, and create a sense of comfort and inner peace in getting to know the woman who is excited to help you build your family. Talking to her gives you the chance to listen to why she decided to donate her eggs and to hear the sincerity in her voice. Plus, it gives you a chance to share your story and your journey with her.
In the end, you’ll choose the form of egg donation that fits your comfort level and personal situation. And that will be the right decision for you.