All posts are republished with permission from Sarah’s blog Oven Rental: Life as a Surrogate. Sarah is currently on her third journey. This story recounts the successful match, transfer, pregnancy and birth through surrogacy. For context, this story refers to a previous match with a couple who did not ultimately pursue surrogacy.
September 16th, 2014
Alright, so it has now been 19 days since I gave birth to Alice. I have had many people ask how I’m doing, so I thought I would post an update on that. I just posted a blog with pictures of baby Alice. She is a cutie, for sure!
So, she was born on the 28th, and I was able to go home on the 30th of August. It was a rough week recovering. I was really sore mostly so was walking slow but still needed to do mom duties for my own kids. Ahh, life as a mom never ends or takes a break! It was nice to be able to sit Kynlee on my lap though, without my belly in the way! It also felt funny to drive for the first few days until I realized what was different about it. My belly wasn’t rubbing against the steering wheel anymore! It’s the little things, people!
I was prepared for this, and I knew it was inevitable, but my milk started coming in while I was still at the hospital. The couple chose to formula feed the baby. I was thankful for this choice in the end because even though I would have been happy to provide them with breast milk, it would have been a huge pain, not to mention added cost, of shipping the milk to France and having to pump all the time. The first 6 days after birth were the hardest. I was engorged and rock hard. I couldn’t stand to be touched in the general area and when Kynlee punched me in the boob, I just about bawled my eyes out . We are at day 19 now, and I am still leaking breast milk, but the hardness and pain has gone away for the most part. It took me a long time to dry up with my own kids after breastfeeding for over a year, so I’m just giving it time, although it’s a little annoying.
I have been pretty emotional, but not for the reasons one might think after having had a baby for someone else. I am not sad in any way regarding not having a baby to cuddle and hold, and feed in the middle of the night! I am sad because my husband is gone again, and the hormones of having a baby are in full swing! When he came back for the birth, it took all of us 4 or 5 days to adjust to him being back again, and he would only be able to stay 5 days if he did come back. We would just be adjusting to him being back when it would be time for him to leave again, and I can’t enjoy the time he is home, because all I’m thinking about is him leaving again. I told him to just get it done, and get home for good. He will probably have to travel back and forth a bit, but it won’t be for a long time, hopefully just a week at a time.
I was able to see the couple a few times after the baby was born. They would come visit me at my house. They were able to get the passport back after just two weeks! So they changed their flights from the 19th, to the 12th, which was Friday. I got to hold and cuddle baby Alice for most of the evening the night before she left. I felt no attachment or longing for another of my own, but just was enjoying getting to cuddle a sleepy newborn. I got to feed her and change a few diapers. She is pretty tiny and dainty! Long limbs and fingers and toes. Pretty easy going, and very awake for a newborn. She doesn’t cry very much at all, just likes to look around and take it all in. She gets the hiccups a lot which is not surprising at all considering she had them several times a day when I carried her.
As the couple was leaving on their last night here, it was difficult for them to say goodbye. It was an emotional one as they told me that “thank you” will never be enough, and there are no words to express their gratitude for what I have done for them. They said they will always consider me as family and we will talk frequently on FaceTime as Alice grows and grows! 🙂