Becoming a Surrogate or Egg Donor:

Surrogate Fees: How We Feel About It
 

Under the “COSTS” tab of the Circle Surrogacy website, you will see that the fees to a gestational carrier can be as much as $25,000, not including various expenses and reimbursements for travel, maternity clothes, etc.  This is a lot of money, and it is sometimes difficult to explain to those around you (or perhaps even to yourself) what this money is for.

You may encounter people who will openly assume that the money is your first reason for performing a surrogate pregnancy.  You may encounter others who feel that the money “taints” the experience, or somehow negates your higher purpose.  When money is involved in any life experience, it changes peoples’ perspective.

One of Circle’s surrogates laughs about her brother’s dismissal of the money issue by saying “There are a lot easier ways to make twenty thousand dollars in a year!”  This is so true.  When you consider the variability of morning sickness, stretch marks, sleepless nights, swollen ankles, labor pains, and all of the other issues of pregnancy, this amount of money doesn’t seem so large.  In fact, if you figure that from start to finish, your surrogacy takes ten months, 24 hours a day, at an average salary of $20,000…that works out to a compensation of about $2.74 per hour.  No one would take that job!…unless they had a higher purpose.

You may also come across people who would criticize you for “taking away from” your own children in carrying someone else’s.  This is not a benign concern, because you know that any pregnancy is likely to cause fatigue or irritability, and require extra rest, time out for doctor appointments, and countless other little things that replace precious moments spent with your children during these months.  Many surrogates express a belief that the surrogacy process is setting a powerful example for their children in terms of reaching out and being proactive to change the world for the better.  An even more concrete element to point to is the extra money that surrogacy brings into your family.

The surrogate fees are not about “buying a baby” or “renting a uterus”…they are mostly about family.  You are offering family to a couple (or a single) who could never realize this dream without you.  They cannot repay you in kind.  No reward can truly thank you for the enormity of your gift.  A thank-you note in the form of the surrogate fee is the best anyone can do.  Consider this a family gift for yourself…the money is yours to put into a college fund (maybe even to further your own education), or pay off your mortgage, or take a once-in-a-lifetime vacation, or however you may choose to spend it for yourself and your family.  You have changed someone else’s life…now they want to change yours in some small way.  Enjoy it.

A Thank-you card from parents to their surrogate, Sara

About Circle Surrogacy

Since 1995, Circle Surrogacy has helped bring to the world over 225 babies, with unmatched success rates of close to 100% in clients becoming parents through egg donor surrogacy. Its dedicated staff of professionals is made up of lawyers, social workers, parents through surrogacy, surrogates and past clients. Circle Surrogacy provides a choice of specialized clinics at locations throughout the country, a large selection of egg donors, swift matching with carefully screened surrogates, and a variety of flexible programs and financial options to suit its clients’ unique family choices.

John Weltman, owner, founder is a Yale graduate and a nationally recognized expert in the field of reproductive law, including surrogacy and gay parenting.

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