IVF Maximizes Parenthood Choices for Gay Men

Crucial choices on the road to fatherhood:
Choosing a Gestational Carrier
 

By Dr. Michael Doyle, Connecticut Fertility Associates

Choosing the gestational carrier who will carry and deliver your children can be a curious journey, but can also prove to be one of the most exciting, gratifying and empowering choices you may ever have the opportunity to make. We at CFA are here to guide you through every medical aspect of that process, and in my opinion no agency in the world does a better job of screening and matching gestational carriers than Circle Surrogacy. When potential carriers apply to Circle, they are evaluated thoroughly by an experienced team which considers their suitability from a medical, legal, psychological, emotional perspective.

As a fertility specialist, it is my job to look at all the medical facts, and ensure that a potential carrier can safely carry your pregnancy to completion. To do that, I begin by screening each carrier’s entire medical history and records. Is there anything that suggests that she may be at risk for miscarriage or other pregnancy complications? Can she carry twins? Are there any medical conditions that would put the pregnancy at risk? To determine this, I also perform physical examination, uterine testing, and bloodwork. I would also look at her previous pregnancy history, possible problems with miscarriage or premature delivery, or concurrent medical conditions. All her records are reviewed with an eye toward her risk factors, to ensure that she should be able to safely carry the pregnancy through the full nine month term. An ideal carrier has also been pregnant at least once before, and carried each time without complications. In many cases, she may have also served as a carrier for other parents, and demonstrated the ability to carry safely, as well as to give the baby (or babies) to the intended parents, and forge an appropriate relationship for moving forward.

Your gestational carrier and you will have a lifetime relationship, so when you choose a gestational carrier, it is important to select a carrier who fits as many of your needs as possible. A most important issue to consider is multiple pregnancy. Ask yourself: How do you feel about having twins? When three embryos are transferred, pregnancy occurs over 80% of the time, but twin pregnancies account for 50% of them. If this is appealing, plan to transfer three embryos, and choose a carrier who would allow a transfer of up to three embryos. At CFA, we never aim for triplets, but even this can happen in up to 15% of cycles which involve the transfer of three embryos. Is this a risk that you and your carrier would be willing to take together? Would you want to keep triplets or selectively reduce to twins (which involves a procedure in which the carrier has one fetus removed.) If you would be comfortable with this, make sure that you choose a carrier who agrees with your wishes. It would be most regrettable to enter into conflict over this type of issue once the pregnancy is established. By checking in on these issues early in the selection process, we can ensure that such conflict will not arise.

Another issue involves the type of personal involvement you envision with your carrier, both during the pregnancy, and of course, as your children grow older. Are you hands-on? Do you want frequent interaction with your carrier, and regular updates during her prenatal care? Many carriers welcome such a hand-on approach, and are delighted to share the week-to-week progress of their pregnancies with you as much as possible. Beyond that, what type of relationship do you foresee developing over the years? What role would you envision your children’s birth mother playing in their childhood, adolescence and even adult lives? Once you know how you feel about these issues, it becomes easier to identify the carrier who is most compatible with your family-building goals and child-raising ideals.

Choosing your carrier need not be intimidating or puzzling. We are here to provide you with the medical information, legal advice, and psychological support to enable you to navigate the process. Be assured that a carrier is waiting to make your dream come true, and we are here to help you find her.

For more information, contact Dr. Doyle at Connecticut Fertility Associates (michael.doyle@CTfertility.com) or John Weltman at Circle Surrogacy (john@CircleSurrogacy.com). Both centers have outstanding track records and a demonstrated commitment to serving the gay community.

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