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Wall Street Journal and Boston Herald turn to Circle for "Baby Mama" reality check

“While this funny hit movie may contribute to making surrogacy more mainstream,” says John Weltman, “Baby Mama does not reflect reality.”
 

May 14, 2008

The release of 'Baby Mama' in late April seemed to fuel the growing Media interest in surrogacy. Reporters from around the country and abroad turned to Circle Surrogacy for information and a reality check: Does the movie portray surrogates, intended parents and agencies accurately? Do we think it is good for "the cause" of surrogacy?

From "Baby M" to Baby Mama

On April 25 the Wall Street Journal published a review of the movie and a separate article about "Outsourcing Childbirth" (a term used in the movie). It notes that "the last time surrogate motherhood made these kinds of headlines was during the famous "Baby M" case of the late 1980s, in which the traditional surrogate, Mary Beth Whitehead, sought custody of the child." Even though Ms. Whitehead only managed to secure visitation rights to the baby, this case may have contributed to the gradual shift from traditional surrogacy to gestational surrogacy, where, instead of artificial insemination of the surrogate, an egg from the intended mother, or a donor, is implanted in the surrogate, thus ensuring that she has no genetic connection to the baby. John Weltman, Circle Surrogacy's president, was quoted as saying that, contrary to the 'Baby M' case, "there has never been an appellate court case that has given any legal rights at all to a gestational carrier." Further benefits of gestational surrogacy include that it is: “quicker than adoption; there is no home visit or parenting class required; and it allows parents to have a genetic link to their child. For some, it may be the only available option. Gays and lesbians are barred from adopting in several states; single parents may find themselves repeatedly passed over by birth mothers in favor of couples." John also noted that, unlike in private adoption, where the birth mother does the choosing, and has the right in all states to change her mind even weeks after the birth, gestational surrogacy provides intended parents (IPs) far greater control. IPs get to chose the carrier and take a more active part in the entire process leading to, and including, the birth.h. Then when the baby is born, the IPs get full custody of the child.

Not all publicity is good publicity

On May 11 the Boston Herald published an article titled "'Baby' Boom: Movie may spawn rise in surrogacy." The Mother's Day article featured Tracy Barker, a Circle Surrogacy mother, and her carrier Lisa Hardy-Bell, whom Circle found for her. Tracey turned to Circle Surrogacy after developing cervical cancer and having a hysterectomy. With the help of Lisa, she was able to have her third child Kelsey, now 3. “Mother’s Day reminds me of the miracle,” she said."

The article states that "some fertility professionals believe the hit comedy, which centers around a businesswoman’s strained relationship with her blue-collar surrogate, could help trigger a surge in surrogacy". However, others are concerned that the movie puts out a lot of myths that surrogate mothers are poor white trash that want to keep the child or take money from parents. "That couldn’t be farther from the truth," said Lisa, Kelsey’s surrogate mother. Unlike the movie’s spatting duo, Tracy reports that she still maintains a good relationship with the surrogate, long after the birth of her child. Lisa “is a part of our life.” Given what she heard so far, Lisa even stated that “I’m not sure I want to go (see the movie) and get offended."

Fiction meets facts (spoiler alert!)

“Baby Mama, as being the first blockbuster movie focusing on surrogacy, may be an indicator that the world is ready to deal with surrogacy and to laugh about it,” says John Weltman. “If people are informed about surrogacy, then they know that the movie was just a farcical look at an absurd situation. But for those uninformed individuals, who might believe the situation to be realistic, then the story is not so helpful to the cause of surrogacy.”

Indeed some parents and surrogates who saw the movie were disturbed by the extreme stereotypes and, even worse, the distortion and misrepresentation of the entire process. "Anyone who worked with a reputable agency," says Ron Poole-Dayan, a father of twins through Circle Surrogacy, "can attest to huge plot holes in 'Baby Mama'. In reality, the most crucial elements of the story could simply not happen if you follow certain basic rules."

Here are some of these basic rules and conventions that render 'Baby Mama' highly unlikely to occur:

• Unlike the care-free surrogate in the movie, surrogates screened by reputable agencies are always women who previously had successful and complication-free pregnancies, and therefore are already mothers. Furthermore they are very heavily screened, far beyond the "background check" hinted at the movie. “At Circle," says John Weltman, "psychological tests and personal circumstances are scrutinized to make sure that candidates are trustworthy, fully supported by their families, living in a stable and health environment, and are not solely financially motivated or unprepared for the journey."

• Unlike the movie, surrogates through Circle do not interview a series of potential intended parents. Carriers are matched with IPs based on an extensive set of criteria, they read each others detailed profiles, and then meet after careful preparation. At that point, experience shows, the vast majority will confirm the match and move on with the process. "Our experience is that almost always a 'love fest' starts at this meeting," says John. "Surrogacy is not just the IPs life-long dream - it is also that of the carrier."

• Unlike the movie, surrogates do not move in with their intended parents... Indeed, how likely is the typical real-world surrogate to leave her 2-3 kids and move in to a condo in the big city? "Not only has this never happened during Circle Surrogacy's 12 years of existence," says John, "it would be strongly discouraged by the extended support network of social workers, case managers and psychologists who accompany the carrier and IPs during the process. None of these professionals are mentioned in the movie."

• Unlike the movie, there is absolutely no chance that a Circle surrogate could forge her pregnancy test and collect fees without being pregnant. "In the first place," reports John,” surrogates are not considered pregnant until we get the results from an independent clinic of several blood tests first, and then an ultrasound confirmation of a heartbeat. Furthermore, both our surrogates and their partners are so well screened, that it is unlikely that they would even contemplate faking a pregnancy...”

Additional protocols are in place at Circle that would have prevented several more comic episodes in the movie... Money is never directly exchanged or even discussed between the IPs and carriers, as it is handled by the law firm, which maintains a separately held escrow account. IPs are encouraged to visit the carrier's home well before the surrogacy process begins. Experienced social workers (and / or former clients) coach IPs about how to avoid being perceived as over controlling, while dealing with their unavoidable anxieties during the process. Indeed, many surrogates live some distances from their IPs, and so most of the communication is done over emails and phone calls.

“So while Baby Mama is a funny comedy of mistakes, miscommunications and personality clashes, luckily, well planned surrogacies are nothing like the one in the film" concluded John Weltman.

Read the Wall Street Journal article online...

Read the Boston Herald article online...

About Circle Surrogacy

Since 1995, Circle Surrogacy has helped bring to the world over 225 babies, with unmatched success rates of close to 100% in clients becoming parents through egg donor surrogacy. Its dedicated staff of professionals is made up of lawyers, social workers, parents through surrogacy, surrogates and past clients. Circle Surrogacy provides a choice of specialized clinics at locations throughout the country, a large selection of egg donors, swift matching with carefully screened surrogates, and a variety of flexible programs and financial options to suit its clients’ unique family choices.

John Weltman, owner, founder is a Yale graduate and a nationally recognized expert in the field of reproductive law, including surrogacy and gay parenting.

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