Glamour Health recently published an article about a pregnancy photo shoot where the couple included their egg donor. While the photo shoot was a great headline, the meat of the article is a first-person narrative detailing the process of selecting an egg donor. The author of this piece, Shannon M. Clark, M.D., bravely shares her experience from the initial disappointment when she and her husband realized they couldn’t do this on their own through to the transfer process and the birth of their beautiful twins.
It wasn’t an easy decision but Shannon and her husband came around to egg donation. After mentioning that her husband took a business-minded approach by creating a spreadsheet of potential egg donors, she explained how she helped refocus their search. She writes, “I was nowhere near a perfect candidate based on my personal and family history, so I felt that our [egg] donor didn’t have to be perfect either. Simply put, if we were going to try and find an [egg] donor with some of my traits, we were going to have to be willing to accept a less-than-flawless profile. I was choosing to be realistic. No one is perfect—not any one egg donor and certainly not me.”
After selecting their egg donor, Shannon asked to meet with her. While Shannon mentions several times in the article that most egg donors and recipients never have any contact, the world of egg donation is evolving for practical reasons and for technological reasons. Our egg donation agency is one of the only organizations that encourages and fosters some type of relationship for both the intended parents and the egg donor.
Our relationship-based approach is for the benefit of the child. Every child is different. Some are inquisitive. Some find out their origin story and genuinely don’t want to know more. Having a connection with one’s egg donor makes it easier, and possible, to organize a meeting at some point in the future if the child requests to do so. Additionally, because of social media, it’s become harder to guarantee everyone’s anonymity.
The journey for Shannon and her husband wasn’t what she expected when they set out to start their family, she admits. But in closing, she writes, “I may not have been able to experience all of the typical things a pregnant woman experiences but what I do have are beautiful photos of my barely there belly bump with my husband and the woman who made my dream of becoming a mother a reality. I also have two beautiful babies who make every tear I ever cried worth it. For that, I will forever be thankful.”