Few people in England are as well known as Sir Elton John, so it has been natural that his journey to fatherhood as a surrogate parent in England has been widely covered by the UK media. He voiced a common fear among gay parents not long ago in saying that he worried that his 19 month old son, Zachary, would be bullied because he has 2 dads and comes from a gay family. Circle Surrogacy Dad Brett Griffin – who is also our UK representative – took to the pages of The Daily Mail to allay Sir Elton’s fears with a heartfelt and personal account of his own experiences as a gay father to son Sebastian in Britain. We’ve quoted the article below:
I understand your concerns and that’s good, all parents are worried about their children’s future. But I don’t doubt that if a child is raised with love, he or she will be OK.
Will Sebastian ask some awkward questions when he gets older? Of course, but I think the tough questions have changed. We’ve moved on from the awkward birds-and-the-bees questions to, ‘Why does Mary have two mummies?’
We were in the supermarket the other day and there was a woman pushing a boy in a pushchair. Sebastian pointed and said: ‘Who is that?’
I don’t think a child is particularly better off with same sex parents, but I certainly don’t think they’re any worse off than any other child who grows up in a loving home. And the fact we had to go through so much to get Sebastian will reinforce that love for him.
If ever, when he’s a teenager, he says: ‘I didn’t ask to be born,’ I am so ready for him.
I was nervous of telling people we were having a child by surrogacy. It was like coming out all over again. But in fact the response was overwhelmingly positive.
At the time I was working for Barclays. I told my boss I would need some time off to go to the States and he was incredibly supportive. I told my team and they were all great. Even the neighbours were excited.
Surrogacy was once for only the super-rich, but that is not the case any more. We used the agency, Circle Surrogacy. It was a struggle financially – we are an average couple from the Midlands – but we managed.
Sebastian was born into this relationship because we wanted a child. He is loved and lacks for nothing and he will always know that. I think the only thing that could make it better would be the introduction of marriage.
At the moment a civil partnership is a poor second-class substitute to a marriage certificate. It’s a sticking plaster. If we had civil partnerships for black or Asian people, there would be uproar.
Well, it’s the same for gay people. Marriage is not in the ownership of the church. Marriage pre-dates the church, wedding rings are of pagan origin.
I refer to Simon as my husband, why can’t I just say it’s a marriage? I think it would solidify things more for children who are part of a gay relationship.
But overall I think Zachary will be just fine. Don’t forget, Elton, that anybody who picks on your kid would have to deal with your wrath.
I wouldn’t risk that. Nor would anyone who has seen Tantrums And Tiaras