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Birth diaries, Surrogate and Donor Stories:

Birth Diary: Chari
 

It all starts on August 11th, 2006, at about 6 pm. I was 37 weeks and 1 day pregnant with my surrotwins, and I was hurting. All over. Everywhere. I didn't think I was in labor, but decided to go to the hospital anyway.

I hopped in my car and drove myself to the hospital. I got there at about 7 pm, and was checked. I was at 3 cm dilated.

My OB was on vacation, so I had to explain our situation several times to every person who walked through the door.  Because I was a surrogate, I was quite the curiosity in this hospital. At about 7:30 am, my Intended Parents arrived; we settled in a chatted for a while, until suddenly I felt this pressure. I had gone from 4 cm to 10 in about two hours, and now it was push time!

Throughout the delivery, Mary (the Intended Mother) stayed by my side, and my doula, Kelly, whispered words of reassurance in my ear.  Finally, at 11:41 am, I delivered Baby E.; baby M followed 45 minutes later.   One of the proudest moments in my life was the first time I saw Mary as not an "intended mother", but just a mother, cradling a beautiful baby in her arms. It was bliss like I've never felt.

The next few days were amazing. I couldn't believe I created these two little miracles. I was so incredibly proud of myself.  I watched a new family fall into place. I held these beautiful, healthy BIG boys I had carried and devoted every ounce of my heart and soul to for nine months. I thanked God that I was given the chance to be part of giving someone their greatest dream. I thanked God for the miracle He had created. I am not a religious person, but in those moments of awe, I knew there must be a God, and I thanked him.

Then, at about 4 am on the day we were set to leave the hospital, the tears came.  I was so incredibly sad that it was all over. I called my husband, whom I had sent home to sleep, and asked him to come back to the hospital to be with me. He came back at about 5 am, and I made him crawl into the hospital bed and snuggle me.

The parents came back at about 8 am to get the babies ready to go home. I spent some alone time with the boys, kissed the soft baby goose down hair on their heads and breathed in their sweet baby scents. I told them to be good for their Mommy and Daddy, to sleep at night, and to be the little angels they were for me. I drank in every feature of their beautiful perfect faces, knowing the next time I saw them, they would already look different. I told them to never forget me, because they would be in my heart forever.

I cried. I let my tears come instead of holding them back because I knew I had to let myself feel it. I watched my IP's cry because they hated to see me cry. Their empathy touched me so deeply, and strangely, it reassured me. I got dressed, and I dressed the twins to go home. I let them leave the hospital before me to avoid a breakdown in the lobby. Then, my husband helped me out to our car, and we were on our way.

In the week after the boys were born, I cried a lot. I cried for no reason.  I just cried.   I was afraid that if people saw me cry, they'd jump to the conclusion I missed the babies, or I wanted to keep them. That wasn't it.  For two years, I had focused on creating a family, and now the journey was over.  It was difficult to adjust from being a surrogate to being just plain old Chari again.

But also, I'd have amazing highs realizing the enormity of what I had done. There was a family where just days ago, there was none. Besides creating two beautiful and perfect boys, I had created a Mommy and a Daddy, a Grandma and Aunts, Uncles, and Cousins who loved these boys. This family was now like an extension of mine, and I was so happy to bring them so much joy.

In the end I am so glad that I did something to show the world some compassion and caring, and to make a difference. I accomplished those goals in ways I could have never imagined. I look at life much differently than I did three weeks ago. I went into surrogacy to give something to someone else, and I never imagined what I'd receive in return. Life is truly miraculous. The world is a better place with these two little miracles in it, and I made that happen. Life is good.

Related story: John Weltman, Circle Surrogacy president, and Chari Hurley, a Circle surrogate, were guests recently in the Lovell Dyett Program on WBZ Newsradio in Boston. John, Chari and her friend Roi spoke about their personal stories, their motivation, their relationship with the parents, what they feel about people who may have moral objections to surrogacy, and their future plans. Several listeners called in, including another surrogate mother from Florida. Listen now:

About Circle Surrogacy

Since 1995, Circle Surrogacy has helped bring to the world over 350 babies, with unmatched success rates of close to 100% in clients becoming parents through egg donor surrogacy. Its dedicated staff of professionals is made up of lawyers, social workers, parents through surrogacy, and former surrogates and egg donors. Circle Surrogacy provides a choice of specialized clinics at locations throughout the country, a large selection of egg donors, swift matching with carefully screened surrogates, and a variety of flexible programs and financial options to suit its clients' unique family choices.

John Weltman, owner, founder is a Yale graduate and a nationally recognized expert in the field of reproductive law, including surrogacy and gay parenting.